I attended a coaching session with an Elite Matchmaker after the relationship ended

  • New York-based coach Rori Sassoon offers individual training sessions for $ 500.
  • During my one-hour session with her, we discussed my past relationships and current dating goals.
  • I did not feel judged because I occasionally kept my life on dates and away from dating apps.

When Rori Sassoon, co-founder of the Platinum Poire procurement service in New York, offered me an hour of dating advice and guidance, I thought: Why not?

Sassoon has been a proxy for almost two decades and its business is aimed at people aged 30, 40 and 50 who can afford a $ 15,000 subscription for six months. Sassoon said it wanted to expand its work to include millennials and non-members as well, so it launched the guidance service on May 1st. For $ 500, a client takes an hour of Sassoon time to discuss their dating history, current experience and ultimate goals and how to achieve them, either in person or over


Zoom

.

After my session at Zoom – where Sassoon supported my choice to stay out of dating apps and enhanced my appearance, personal and professional success, and honest demeanor – I felt more empowered to date on my own terms and with a little more patience.

First, the consul asked about my dating history

Before my session, I completed a short questionnaire about my previous relationships and dating goals.

Sassoon said she has worked with clients who have never had a serious relationship and others who have been married for 20 years, so the recruitment form helps her open up those discussions and offer personalized advice.

To begin with, Sassoon asked me if I would describe my previous relationship, which lasted almost 10 years and ended 9 months ago, as one of the best romances of my life. I said yes. We talked about how we lived together, the characteristics I liked about my ex and the ways I wish our relationship was different.

It was not pleasant to reproduce the best relationship of my life and I was worried about being judged because I had no regrets or criticisms about the dynamics we had with my ex.

But talking to Sassoon, I felt strong. Talking about my past seemed like a research project to improve the quality of my current appointment.

He supported my decision to stay out of dating apps and have casual sex

I expected Sassoon to say that my current approach to dating – lots of first dates, occasional crunches and sex when I like it – was all wrong.

But Sassoon only asked follow-up questions to better understand my mentality and the people I dated. In the end, he offered me two casual dating tips that I intend to keep in mind.

1. Do not compromise with the values ​​of your relationship.

I told Sassoon that I was having a hard time finding a partner who I was attracted to both socially and sexually and who wanted to keep seeing me. After imagining two races in two months, I started to wonder if I was asking too much.

But Sassoon said I would benefit more in the long run if I stick to the values ​​of my relationship.

Now, when I notice signs that a match is not respecting my time or is not transparent about its emotions, I try to take a moment to grieve for this lost connection without assuming that I did something wrong.

2. Be open, not obsessive about finding connections.

I also told Sassoon that I was reluctant to use dating apps again, since I had deleted them from my phone a month earlier. At the same time, I was worried that I would not be able to meet new people if I had to.

Sassoon, whose entire business involves helping people quit apps to make connections in real life, said I should not worry.

Instead, he suggested that I change my mindset and focus on pouring myself out. He told me to dedicate the time and energy I spent on dating apps and interacting with the real world, whether eating dinner with friends, doing chores, traveling, or doing something else I love.

In Sassoon’s experience, people are attracted to positive and fun behaviors, and it is easier to embody that when you enjoy life and trust, you will meet great people. He said to draw the line between “hunting” for a match and shutting myself off.

I felt like I was talking to a supportive and non-critical older sister

I left my session with Sassoon feeling down and confident about myself. He was like a confidant and a conspirator, and it was refreshing to have an optimistic-but realistic discussion, especially after a few months of tiredness about my prospects.

However, I could not help but think that the $ 500 fee would be better spent in a handful of treatment sessions.

I thought to myself a year ago when I first started treatment, and all the stories I internalized about myself that I had to learn.

I am more confident in myself as a friend, sister, daughter and lover because I did this job. Without treatment, I do not think my time with Sassoon would have the same weight.

Of course, I will get encouragement where I can, because dating is hard work. But I would be ignored if I did not recognize the huge personal work that the appointment entails.

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